JXHQ: Harley, Not Harleen
by Mrs.Volterra
Summary: JokerXHarley: Dr. Harleen Quinzel was the Joker's psychiatrist, until she fell in madly love with him and became his devoted sidekick, Harley Quinn. Based on the events in Mad Love. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hi, everyone! Thank you for checking out my new Harley Quinn origin story! I have tried to do this twice already, and failed, so I'm hoping that this is much better. Please feel free to give me constructive criticism after reading this.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, everything here is DC's, I'm only writing for my own amusement and practice(: so ENJOY!**

Dr. Harleen Quinzel walked into Arkham Asylum under the impression that she would be able to make a difference in the lives of her patients. After graduating top of her class at Gotham University, she had been hired immediately after submitting her application to the mental institution she had so very badly wanted to work at.

She had loved psychology from an early age, always questioning how people's minds were different and made them do different things. How someone could justify certain things, like killing another person. She easily sympathized with those who she called 'children of circumstance'. She knew it was not their faults that they had been victim to something outside of their control, that they had been led down a dark road. So she wanted to help them, to guide them back onto the right track.

So as she walked into Arkham Asylum, with a box of her belongings on her hip, she felt proud, excited, and hopeful. She would change these 'criminals', make them good people once more. She was going to make a difference. This was her calling.

A tall woman with dark skin was waiting just inside, a smile on her face and a clipboard in her left hand. She stuck out the right hand, and Harleen took it, giving a good, firm shake.

"Hello, Harleen, I'm Joan Leland. I'm going to be showing you the ropes in the Asylum. Essentially, I will be your mentor and friend, if you ever need it. Sometimes working here can get a bit tough." Her smile was now slightly apologetic.

"You can call me Harley, Joan. Everyone does."

The older woman nodded. "Excellent. Come with me, I'll show you to your office, then give you a tour.

xxx

The two doctors walked alongside of each other, already getting along very well. Every so often, Joan would say something important to know for the job, like being especially careful near some cells that held sexual predators who would go wild at the sight of a woman. Male doctors were usually the only ones to venture in those areas.

"So, what made you decide to work here?" Joan asked, as they ventured into the maximum-security wing. "Not to pry, but this place is known for holding Gotham's most well-known criminals, who are quite the lethal bunch. Many doctors leave here dead or maimed. So why not somewhere safer, less dangerous?"

Harley stopped, shrugging her shoulders. "Well, I've always been attracted to extreme personalities. Gotham's rouge gallery is actually quite fascinating."

"You won't be able to work with patients like them for a while…" Harley's head tipped to the side as she heard a strange, high-pitched sound. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought it sounded like…whistling? But she waved off the thought, and began to tread slowly towards the source of the noise, which was at the end of the long rows of cells containing a variety of inmates, including a red-haired woman tending to a plant, and a short, balding man licking the glass, until she finally reached her destination.

Harley stared in astonishment at the man who was indeed whistling. He was very tall and lean, wiry arms crossed over his chest in defiance, and she realized that his skin was an unusually light shade, almost bone white. Vivid green locks were tousled wildly, a few curls falling across his forehead. He had an angular face with sharp features, like his strong jaw and prominent nose. His lips were scarlet, the color of blood, and Harley watched, enraptured, as the ends pulled up into a wicked smile, and she finally met his eyes, frightened yet mesmerized by the emerald orbs' intensity.

A pale, slender hand rose up and the long fingers wiggled in a wave. Harley was surprised as she realized she had started waving back, and she immediately brought her arm down.

Leland had followed her, still talking, but fell silent, dark eyes widening when she saw who her new friend was so casually greeting. "Harley?" She murmured quietly. "That's the Joker."

Dr. Quinzel glanced to her and nodded, slightly dazed. "I know. Interesting man, isn't he?" The pair made their way back down the hallway. "Imagine having him as a patient…" She spoke softly, possibly to herself.

"There is no way I would let you have that monster as your patient, Harleen." Her voice was stern. "He is incredibly violent and basically impossible to deal with. He would tear you apart!"

The young psychiatrist attempted to conceal her hurt at being essentially being called inexperienced and incapable, and instead corrected her superior. "I told you, Joan. It's Harley."

She sighed. "Perhaps in time you could try your hand at analyzing him. I'm only looking out for you, Harley."

A burst of excitement ran through her, but she acted calm. "I understand. And thank you. I appreciate it." She smiled brightly at her new mentor.

"You're a wonderful woman with a lot of potential. We wouldn't want to waste that."

xxx

After spending another hour going over rules and procedures, Joan finally released Harley to go to her office by herself to unpack a bit. When she arrived outside of the door, she gave a small laugh as she smirked at the title- _Dr. Harleen Quinzel, MD._

"Look at you, Harl!" She grinned to herself. "You go, girl."

She sauntered into the room, which was still bland and not yet personalized, but it didn't matter- she had her very own office! As she started to laugh once again, she stopped suddenly, and turned to look to her left.

"Oh my God…"

There was a single rose in a black vase, with a small note attached. Harley, still stunned, picked up the piece of paper and read it, a soft smile growing with each word. She pressed a hand to her mouth, suppressing a light giggle.

_Come down and see me sometime. –J_

"Wow…" Harley whispered, picking up the flower by the stem, taking care to avoid the sharp thorns, and closed her eyes as she inhaled the deep, lovely scent.

She would be making a trip to a certain inmate's cell soon enough.

**AN: Got the first chapter done! I'm on a road trip right now, so I'm writing. Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed it, because the first couple of times I tried this, it didn't go very well. I'm sure I'll go back and edit it a little bit, but for now, this will have to do. It was a bit too short for my taste, and too quick, but I'm working on slowing down. I have to pace myself!**

**REVIEW to give me feedback, good or bad, and FOLLOW to be alerted about the next chapter! :D**

**Also, go check out my profile. I have some JokerXHarley oneshots there!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Second chapter! Woot! Still driving at the moment… catching up on sleep and listening to Lana Del Rey3 I brought The Dark Knight with me, and my '4 Film Favorites- the Batman Collection' which has the original Batman, Batman Returns, Batman & Robin (which sucks), and Batman Forever. Yay! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own a single thing, but DC does and I'm just taking their characters and writing for my enjoyment. So don't kill me.**

**Okay, now go read, review, and enjoy(;**

The man in the last cell of the hall was lying on his cot languidly, in the light blue clothes he wore day after day. He stared at the ceiling, deciding what each brown stain looked like. There was a bunny, and there was a man biting another man's face off…

An expression of delight crossed his pale face as he heard the click of high heels approaching, and he giggled loudly and without shame as it got louder and louder, until it stopped. Right outside of his cell.

"Hello, Dr. Quinzel." He purred in a low voice, sitting up from his position on the bed- if you could call it that- and facing her fully.

She was young, very young, fresh out of college if he guessed right. She was incredibly small as well, perhaps 5"3' at most without the heels, and had a slender, hourglass figure that was curvy in all the right places. Her honey colored tresses were pulled back into a tight bun, probably to make her appear more professional, and she had glasses on, with thick, black frames. She had a rounder face, with huge blue eyes that sparkled with innocence and a tiny, button nose. For the most part, Dr. Harleen Quinzel looked very cutesy. Perfect.

"Care to tell me how this got into my office?" She was forward, wasted no time with unnecessary chit-chat or pleasantries. Her voice was smooth, but he could detect that she was hiding something there.

He was at the glass in a flash, and she flinched in surprise. He grinned, chuckling at her reaction. "I put it there, toots."

Harleen rolled her eyes and pursed her lips, which looked oh so juicy… "I think that the guards would be very interested in knowing how you got out of the maximum-security wing."

"Of course they would be!" He exclaimed, and examined her face in closer detail. He had to admit, she was even prettier up close. "But what would you say if I had a couple of them help?" Her nostrils flared slightly. "Besides, if you were going to tell on me, you would have already done it." He smirked, knowing he was right. But wasn't he always right?

"You're right. I'm letting this slide, but only once. Don't think I'll let it go as easily if you do it again." Trying to be firm with him. It wouldn't work.

"You know, Dr. Quinzel, I _really _like what I've heard about you." How would she react? Would she take the bait?

She did, her head tipping to the side as an amused smile crept onto her face. "And what have you heard?"

He licked his blood red lips as he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against the glass. "Well, there's the name, for one. Harleen Quinzel. If you rework it a bit, you get Harley Quinn."

An impatient sigh. The good doctor had heard it before. Probably hated it. "I know, I know, like the clown character. Harlequin. I'm sure you think that's very funny."

He shook his head, mocking disappointment. "I think _everything_ is funny, Doc. But it's a name that truly makes me smile. I feel like I can relate to you. _Trust_ you…"

Oh, he had the pretty blonde's attention now. This could be fun.

"I'm too new to have you as my patient, really, but Joan likes me well anough, says I can work towards high-profile cases in time. She thinks you can't be cured, but I don't believe that." Harleen looked at him in earnest, baby blues shining with compassion. "Everyone can be cured."

He struggled to maintain his docile expression, fought to keep the laughter in. She was a hoot, he had to give her that. What a silly little girl. Thought she could cure _him,_ the most dangerous, the most insane of all of Gotham's crazies. Poor, stupid creature. But he was so bored. He was in desperate need of a game, perhaps a toy, to play around with for a bit, until he wanted to break out again. This cutesy doctor had arrived precisely at the right time. Oh, it was going to be so much _fun_!

"So, I'll be seeing you around, toots." She nodded. "Stay gorgeous, Dr. Quinzel." He winked, earning a soft blush from the young woman. She was probably swooning at this point. He had that effect on the ladies. He smirked to himself as he faded back into the shadows, falling onto his cot and staring at the ceiling. He chuckled when he realized one blood stain looked like a bat. How he missed that pesky rodent…

"Goodbye," He heard her call, and the clicking of heels began once more as she left.

"Bye, bye, Harley Quinn." The Joker whispered before erupting into bouts of laughter, the other inmates shuddering at the evil, maniacal glee as it quieted to a high-pitched giggle.

Oh, this was going to be fun.

xxx

"Joan, Joan!" Harleen shouted as she burst into her mentor's office, completely unannounced. She stopped very suddenly when she realized she was not the only one who wished to speak to Dr. Leland.

"Dr. Quinzel," Jeremiah Arkham greeted in a cool tone, lips in a straight, firm line. His pale, blonde locks were wispy and brushed over the top of his square glasses. He was more or less the average height of a man, but even so, he towered over the newest employee. And he looked anything but pleased. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

The small woman swallowed nervously, and attempted to calm her nerves as she answered him. "Dr. Arkham, it's such an honor to meet you. Thank you for allowing me to work here." She offered a charming smile. "I was only coming to speak to Dr. Leland about one of the patients." Her explanation seemed to satisfy Jeremiah, who turned to Joan and nodded to her.

"I'll talk to you later about it." He said, and glanced briefly at Harleen as he walked briskly out of the door. Joan sat down in her chair behind her desk, which was quite large. Her office was much more spacious then Harleen's, as she had more seniority.

"Hello, Harley." She smiled at the tiny blonde. "What did you need?"

Quinzel took a seat as well, leaning forward slightly as she spoke in a soft voice. "I, um, encountered the Joker just now, and he talked to me. He said that my name made him feel that he could, um, trust me, so-"

The older doctor's hands flew up. "No, Harley! You cannot treat him! He is even more dangerous than you think, and I'm appalled that you went to see him without permission from me. The Joker is manipulative and this is all just a game to him. He has had seven doctors in the last four months. He has either killed them, or broken their minds beyond repair. Why would you be any different?"

A breath in, staying professional. "Joan, I understand your concern. I know he is dangerous. But he also needs help. From the right person. Those other doctors… He didn't ever say that he trusted them, or show any willingness to cooperate. He did with me. I may be young, and perhaps inexperienced, but I know this is something I'm able to do. At least consider it." She pleaded, widening her baby blue eyes.

Joan sighed. "You're nothing if not passionate about your work. I'm the kind of psychiatrist who believes everyone can be cured, but this case is my only exception. However, we have to try. I will speak with the rest of the doctors at our next monthly meeting. Fair enough?"

"Oh, Joan, thank you!" Harley jumped up, beaming ear to ear. "Thank you so much!"

"I haven't given you the case yet, Harley." Leland reminded her with an amused smile. It was a nice change to see a doctor in Arkham Asylum besides herself that really wanted to help the inmates. Though she had set her heart on curing the most insane patient there…

"Well, you're giving me a chance, and that's all I could ask for. I'll leave you alone now." She practically skipped out of the office, already imaging what it would be like to have the Joker on the couch, spilling all of his secrets to her, Dr. Harleen Quinzel.

**AN: Feedback, please? Anyone? I know you're there…**

**Just to note, the whole using 'he' and 'him' and not really mentioning THE JOKER until the very end of his little piece was intentional. To me, it seemed like it was more in character, going more into his thought process while remaining in third person… oh, I'm rambling. Sorry.**

**Seriously, please review. I honestly need some opinions from you all. Thank you for those who have read this, and brownie points for anyone who follows or favorites this. Readers make writing worthwhile(:**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Arrived at my destination last night, then woke up early to write. Maybe going to watch 'Man of Steel' (again) later…**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything, probably never will, but DC has been kind enough to let us crazy fan-peoples use their characters for our own enjoyment and amusement. So mwah, DC3**

**ENJOY! (then review)**

Harleen was sitting at her desk, filling out a prescription for Linda Barts, a woman who had been clearly determined mentally ill after eating her husband and two young children, when a knock came at her door.

"Come in," She said, glancing up as the door opened to reveal Joan Leland, looking very tired and well-worn. "Joan! How was the meeting?" She asked cautiously, her stomach churning as she awaited the verdict.

"It took a hell of a lot of convincing, Harley, but it looks like you have a new patient." A weary smile.

Quinzel shot up, eyes huge and disbelieving. "Honest to God?" She nodded. "Oh my God, this is wonderful!" The blonde came around her desk and wrapped her arms around her mentor, barely coming up to her shoulders, despite the heels she wore. She looked up at the dark skinned woman and beamed. "Thank you so much, Joan. Thank you for going to bat for me, for fighting for me. No one's ever believed in me like you."

Awkwardly, Joan hugged her back. "Harley, I know you can do this. It won't be easy, but I can tell you're a tough woman. If anyone can cure the Joker, it's you." She detached herself and continue talking. "You have to prepare, of course, before starting. I've got his file in my office, along with some video footage of him with the other doctors."

"Sounds great!" Harleen chirped, following Joan to her room. "After reviewing this, when should I start?"

"Any time. As soon as you're ready."

The young psychiatrist picked up the cardboard box containing tons of notes on the Joker, surprised at how much it weighed as she heaved it to her car, then drove home, quivering with anticipation and excitement.

xxx

"Patient 4479, I am your new doctor." Dr. Jeffries informed the colorful inmate chained in front of him.

"Aw, c'mon, Herbert, old boy! You know my name. Why won't you say it?"

Harleen was curled up on her bed, papers scattered beside her, as she watched the tape, transfixed. The camera was facing the Joker,

Jeffries answered coldly. "That is not your name, it is merely a façade you hide behind. If you refuse to give us your real name, the one your parents gave you, then I am forced to call you Patient 4479."

The Joker started howling with laughter, looking up with dark eyes that gleamed malice. "Then the joke's on you." He sneered.

Less than a month later, Herbert Jeffries was found dead in his office, stabbed to death with various items in the room, and the Joker was discovered sitting calmly in his cell, splattered with blood, waiting to be confined in solitary.

Harleen knew it would be tricky, curing him, and would require a unique approach when dealing with the mass-murder. He could break her very easily if she wasn't careful, and she had no intention of letting that happen. This was going to push her to her limits, but it did not matter. She would stay in control, and actually begin to help the poor man. He could find solace in her when no one else had even offered an ear to listen to his troubles. It was quite obvious he had troubles. You had to have gone through a lot to start dressing as a psychotic clown and kill people with no true purpose.

And she made a mental note not to call him 'Patient 4479'.

xxx

The Joker was awoken in his cell by five burly guards with angry scowls on their faces.

"Come on, clown." A dark-haired one snarled, grabbing him roughly.

The Joker clucked his tongue. "Guards are just so rude these days! But I guess I killed all the nice ones." He howled with laughter as they began restraining him into a straitjacket. He put up no struggle. He was looking forward to seeing the good doctor.

"Bet you're jealous," He smirked. Though the guard was more built and 'manly', the Joker was few inches taller. "Getting Dr. Quinzel as my shrink. I'll have her on the couch in no time."

Furious, the guard hit him across the face, only adding to the madman's amusement. "Oh, Todd, you make me laugh!"

"You don't have a chance in hell with her, you sick freak!" He yelled, hitting him again.

A short, stocky blonde nudged him. "C'mon, Todd, let's just go."

Still glaring, Todd and the others escorted him to an office, at which one man knocked on the door. "Dr. Quinzel?" He called. "We have your patient."

Immediately, the door opened, revealing a radiant Harleen, eyes shining with excitement. "Oh, thank you for bringing him here, Mr.-"

"Baker. Todd Baker." The buffoon supplied, puffing out his broad chest arrogantly. "I'll come in and monitor your session."

Harleen's brow furrowed. Her full lips pursed a bit. "Oh, that's okay. I'd actually prefer if the session was the two of us, alone. Is that alright?"

His face fell as he struggled to keep composure. "Yeah, yeah. Let us know if the clown freak gives you trouble. You wouldn't believe the sick stuff he's done to the other doctors, Harleen."

"It's Dr. Quinzel to you," She replied, albeit sharply. "I'll just press the button if I need your assistance."

"Okay." He mumbled, and the rest of the guards proceeded to lead the Joker into her office, He was plopped unceremoniously onto the leather couch, then shackled to the ground. They left after they were positive he couldn't get free. Dr. Quinzel sat in her chair, massaging her temples as they swung the door shut. The Joker chuckled quietly and she glanced up.

"What do you want me to call you?" She asked, straightening up as she readied her pen and notepad.

He grinned wolfishly. "You can call me anything you want, baby."

She rolled her huge blue eyes. "Well, I figured you don't like it when doctors address you by 'Patient 4479'. So I'm letting you choose whatever won't end up with me dead."

The Joker let out a laugh. "I like you, Doc, I really do! You're funny!"

She managed a smile. "Well, thank you. That must be high praise coming from you. But you still haven't answered me." She waited expectantly.

"Just Joker, I guess."

She nodded. "What about Mr. Joker? Is that alright?"

"Mmhmm, that works. And what do I call you?" He licked his scarlet lips.

"Dr. Quinzel, of course." Harleen looked puzzled. Why would he want to call her by anything else?

"No." He replied in a short, clipped tone. "I wanna call you Harleen."

"Mr. Joker-"

He interrupted her. "Don't you want me to trust you?" A nasty smirk was dancing on his white face.

"I do. But you view this as your game, a little joke. It's not. Perhaps it is a game. But if it is, we play by my rules, or we don't play at all. Get it?" Her voice was firm, and she stared at him evenly.

"But, Mommy!" The Joker whined, mimicking a child before dissolving into more laughter. "Jeez, Doc, lighten up! It wouldn't kill you to laugh!"

"This is going nowhere, Mr. Joker." Harleen said, her previously calm demeanor gone. "You listen to me or you don't. I'm half inclined to end this session early."

Ouch! She was already getting touchy. "Well, if you do, make sure they don't rough me up too bad." The Joker turned his face so she could better see the dried blood. "The guards… They get so angry sometimes." He sighed dramatically, hoping to play on her pity and sympathy.

It worked. "I meant to ask about that!" She frowned. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Joker. I'll have a word with them all later."

"It was that brute, Todd." He moped. "He's such a bully to poor, little ole me. I never did anything to them!" He moaned, hiding a grin. He hadn't done anything to them… except kill tons of their friends and perhaps their family members. But still! They could really hold grudges. It was becoming a nuisance.

"And the straitjacket!" The homicidal maniac ranted. "I'd throw my hands in the air if they weren't strapped so tightly around my body. I can barely breathe!"

Her pretty face was scrunched in concern. "It's for everyone else's safety…"

"What about my comfort? I can't recover if I'm constantly being reminded of how much you don't trust me." The Joker turned his emerald green eyes to Harleen, widening them innocently. "I'm no more than an animal, Doc."

She shook her head. "If you gave us reason to believe you don't need the straitjacket, then we'd take it off. But you haven't shown us any proof that you've changed."

"I'll work on it, Dr. Quinzel."

Harleen brightened at the correct title. But her face fell slightly as the door opened, and a guard stepped in.

"Dr. Quinzel. Time's up."

"Thank you." She looked at her new patient. Time had passed so quickly. "Until next time, Mr. Joker. Behave." All she got back was a dark laugh.

After they had collected him and dumped him back in his cell, Harleen asked the guards to come to her office.

"Gentlemen, I can't help but see that my patient isn't being treating so well." She held up her hands as a grumble arose from them. "I understand he provokes you, and that makes you upset, but he is a sick man. He needs help. If he's getting beaten like he's in a prison, he won't ever recover." She gazed at them, pleading. "I'm asking for you to stop. Ignore him. Don't let him get to you. That's just what he wants."

One guard stepped forward. "Do you have any idea how many people he's killed that we knew, were close to?"

Harleen dropped her gaze to the floor, then looked back up. "I know. And I am sorry for every one of your losses. That's why I need you to do this. If I cure him, he won't ever kill again. Isn't that what you want?"

"We'd rather him dead, but whatever. I guess we have to listen to you."

"Thanks." She murmured. "I appreciate it."

They filed out, leaving her alone in the room. She sighed, and massaged her temples again. The first session and the Joker was already wearing her down! Without meaning to, she had strayed off her agenda, and nothing had gone as planned. She had meant to be calm and professional, asking him simple questions, not debating back and forth!

"He'll be the death of me!" Harleen exclaimed, shaking her head wearily. Oh well. She'd be more prepared next time.

**AN: Another chapter down! Poor Harley! She's in for quite a ride, isn't she?**

**I'm just wondering, is anyone enjoying this at all? It doesn't seem like it :( I'm not the kind of writer to make the readers have a certain number of reviews before I post a new chapter, but feedback is always greatly appreciated. If there's any constructive criticism, opinions, or ideas, I'd love to hear them!**

**THANK YOU FOR READING I LOVE YOU 333 Posting more JokerXHarley stories now, so CHECK EM OUT!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hi! I've been without my computer for a while, which sucked, but now I'm back, writing this instead of the essay I'm SUPPOSED to be doing for school. Oops…**

**And we have a special guest making an appearance today!**

**Anyways, the usual: Read, REVIEW, and most of all, enjoy!**

Harleen hurried to Joan's office. This time, she knocked, and a moment later, her mentor opened the door.

"Harley," She greeted, smiling warmly. "What can I do for you?"

Harleen held up a thick file. "I wanted to report back to you about the session." She explained, and a look of surprise washed over the darker woman's face.

"Oh! That'd be wonderful, Harley, I'm glad you decided to do so." Joan seemed very pleased at being consulted about the most dangerous criminal in Arkham. Harleen knew she was an intelligent woman who, after a short time, she already respected immensely. "Here, sit down."

She complied, while her friend went behind the desk and sat in her large, comfortable chair. "The session went well. I believe he doesn't hate me." She laughed, and Joan nodded.

"I know. It was recorded."

A brief look of confusion passed over the young doctor's pretty face. "No one told me that the sessions were recorded." A note of annoyance was detected in her voice.

Leland raised her hands up and attempted to pacify her. "It's protocol. You knew his sessions were under constant surveillance. You saw footage to prepare you for the case."

Oh. She'd forgotten that. She'd just assumed they would be alone. She doubted that having a camera in the room would help with anything. A gentle sigh escaped her lips. From what she could glean of the Joker, he blossomed under attention and thrived with an audience. Harleen sighed again and responded to Joan.

"Honestly, I mean no disrespect, but having these sessions recorded is a huge mistake. Obviously my patient has a gigantic ego and is incredibly theatrical, I believe it would be detrimental to his recovery. I'm guessing he knew there was a camera and reacted accordingly."

Joan nodded. "I understand what you're saying, Harley. I think you're right in this. However, if he were to do anything, having evidence to look at is good."

"No. I'm sorry, but he is my patient and I have to do everything in my power to help him become sane again."

Harleen waited expectantly for a reply. She still felt a bit betrayed.

"I will see what I can do." The older woman finally answered. Harleen grinned happily and squeaked.

"Thank you so much, Dr. Leland!"

"It's Joan." She corrected with a smile. "Unless you want me to call you Harleen."

The blonde laughed. "I owe you big time, Joan. Again. The things you do for me…" The two shared a laugh. "Well, I really must go. I'm sure you have lots of work to do." She stood up and retreated to the door.

"Thanks, Harley. And by the way, I think you handled the Joker very well. He seems to have taken a liking to you. But be careful!"

"I will." Harleen promised, then left.

xxx

Harleen set out to her next appointment, with a highly obsessive-compulsive inmate that called himself the Riddler. She had seen him on television, of course, and inwardly thought he was not the most fearsome of Gotham's criminals. She relaxed into her chair as a knock sounded at the door. She stood up plastered a smile meant to look welcoming and warm.

"Come in!" She called, smoothing her skirt.

A large guard that she recognized as the one who had tried to flirt with her the previous day entered the room, with a thin, reedy man in tow.

"Mr. Baker," Harleen greeted. "And Mr. Nigma. Is that all right?" She asked the inmate worriedly. "I wouldn't want to offend…"

"I call him crazy!" Interjected Todd with a guffaw, earning a less than pleased look from the psychiatrist.

"You can just sit him down, if you don't mind." She instructed, and sat back in her chair as he shackled the Riddler to the couch. "Thank you." Todd left the room and sent a wink over his shoulder. Harleen uttered a small noise of disgust.

"Mr. Nigma is fine," Her patient said, sweeping his chestnut hair back with a hand. Only his legs were restricted. "For the time being."

Harleen returned her attention to Edward Nigma. "Thank you. I'm Dr. Harleen Quinzel. I suppose you've figured out I'm your new psychiatrist, considering how intelligent you've been shown to be, from some recent tests." She stroked his ego, wanting to see how he reacted.

He didn't disappoint. "My intelligence is not quite so easily measured." Nigma responded. "But it's lovely to speak with someone who appreciates my genius." She smiled at him kindly, flashing a dimple.

"It must be quite a nuisance to deal with people like Mr. Baker every day." Harleen said with a hint of sympathy.

Edward snorted, rolling his eyes. They were green. "It must be more of a nuisance to have him leering at you constantly."

"He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer."

"Riddle me this, Dr. Quinzel," He said, in lieu of a reply. His voice had lowered. "What's white, green, and pretends to be smarter than me?"

A look of confusion crossed the blonde's face. "…excuse me?"

"The Joker." The Riddler answered in a growl. "And word is he's taken a liking to you."

Harleen stifled the smile that threatened to appear. "Mr. Nigma, I fail to see what Mr. Joker has to do with anything. This session is about you, not him."

The villain shook his head. She noticed he was drumming his fingers on his knee, in a frenzied way. She mentally noted it to observe it further and see if it was a tick. Obsessive compulsives often had that. "Dr. Quinzel, that… creature dares to challenge my intellect! I know he's insane, but come on!" Pot calling the kettle black, Harleen thought to herself wryly. "I wonder what he finds so fascinating about you. Quite the riddle indeed." He raised an eyebrow, daring her to answer.

"Mr. Nigma." She said, tone warning. "We are not talking about any of my other patients." The Riddler looked disgruntled but did not argue. "We've only just met and already you've decided to speak so brashly to me? I thought you said your intelligence was not measureable…"

His thin lips pursed and he glared briefly at her before relaxing. "Fair enough. In time." He glanced at the clock. "Is it time for me to go yet? I wouldn't want to miss Jeopardy. It's amusing to see those idiots try and answer such simple questions."

Harleen sighed and chuckled. "Well, for next time, I could see if your session could be made a bit earlier."

He nodded. "Thank you."

Todd came in and started to undo all of the chains containing the Riddler. He rolled his eyes at Harleen again and sneered at the guard.

"And next time," She called as he was taken away. "Maybe you'll refrain from talking about other inmates!"

She heard a snort. The Riddler was not the most charming of men, and seemed a bit odd. However, she looking forward to seeing a certain clown in less than a week.

**AN: No Joker :( I'm so sorry. Next chapter though, I swear! I hope this wasn't too bad, and honestly, I don't know why I threw Eddie in there. But now that I did, I feel an addition to the plot(;**

**Please review (as if I don't say it enough)! Thanks :***


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hello, everyone, I just wanted to address an anonymous review I received. The review was very… interesting. First off, if you want to criticize someone's work, have the decency to do it from your account so I can discuss it with you privately. But seriously.**

**I'm sorry you did not enjoy the fic, and that you so obviously do not care for me and wish I would kill myself. Most of the things you said were extremely offensive and entirely unnecessary. Suicide is never something to joke about. Making fun of those with any mental problems? I don't get it.**

**I also don't get how I'M the stupid one, when you decided to read a fanfic that was CLEARLY JokerXHarley, and then BITCH about it. People are quite amazing, aren't they?**

**Anyways, sorry for the rant, everyone else, and please continue reading(:**

Five days later, Harleen returned to work feeling anxious and nervous about her second session with the Joker. He seemed charming enough the first time, but who was to say this wasn't a bad day and he would be in a horrible mood? He was notorious for his rapid, intense mood swings. Of his many diagnoses, bipolar disorder had been among them.

"Hello, Dr. Quinzel." Aaron Cash greeted as she walked by. She stopped and smiled at the tall, dark security guard, whom everyone respected immensely. Instinctively, she glanced to his left arm

"Mr. Cash, it's Harleen to you." She replied and resumed her brisk pace. She heard him shout back.

"And it's Aaron to _you._"

A laugh and she was gone, rapidly proceeding down the hall with her notes in her hand. She slipped into her office as she waited for the clock to hurry up and bring her infamous patient in.

Harleen had spoken to Joan a few times over the course of the week, asking for help with her work. She supposed it was kissing up, just the tiniest bit, but in truth she enjoyed the older doctor's company and respected the fact that Leland also cared for the inmates as much as she did. Harleen kept glancing back at her notes every few minutes as if to see if there was something she hadn't seen before, a little hint to help her with the Joker. She hoped he wasn't stringing her along. That wouldn't happen, of course, because she was the one in control and he should have realized that by now.

She checked the schedule again. One more hour. She sighed and pulled the papers towards her, grabbing a pen from the drawer and started to write. She had nothing better to do.

_I need to make sure that the patient continues to address me with the correct title. Allowing him to show the smallest bit of disrespect towards me will only result in more bad behavior down the road. Give him an inch and he will most definitely take a mile._

_The patient seems to joke around more than I expected him to. He would divert the conversation from himself multiple times and always seemed to want to talk about me. Though he is obviously very egotistical and self-absorbed, he is also very crafty and manipulative. In the tapes from his previous doctors, the patient managed to find the tiniest chink in their armor and proceeded to tear them apart. I intend to ensure that he does not find a chink with me._

_I believe a good approach for his therapy would be to be more honest and accepting. I cannot give him personal information about me, of course, but acting paranoid and fearful around him only seems to egg him on. And with the accepting- If I respond less negatively than his other psychiatrists to his many ideals and opinions, the patient may trust me more. No judgment. Our sessions are meant to make him feel safe and able to share what he needs to with me._

Harleen paused, then resumed writing.

_Hopefully we will have more progress soon._

xxx

The Joker was brought in soon after, chained so heavily that Harleen wondered how he managed not to keel over from the weight. He caught her eye as a blonde guard pushed him onto the couch and began restraining him further.

"Hiya, Doc!" He exclaimed cheerfully, beaming. Harleen smiled back.

"Hello, Mr. Joker." She greeted. She thanked the guard, who dipped his head slightly before stepping out and letting the door shut behind him. She folded her hands together and inspected him closely. He looked the same as before, maybe a little more tidied up. "How is everything?"

"As good as it can be when you're locked in an insane asylum, sleeping in a concrete room, being beat up by other guys and eating sewage waste being called 'food'." The Joker replied cheerfully.

She raised her eyebrow. "Don't act as if you didn't deserve this. Your actions are what put you here."

"Blah, blah, blah." He groaned. "Come on, Doc, don't be like that. You know I don't belong here."

"Elaborate?"

A smirk lit his face. "Of course. You see, I haven't done anything wrong." He chuckled at her skeptical expression. "It's true! You think I'm just killing people for the fun of it. It is pretty hilarious, really, but honestly, I'm freeing them from their terrible, meaningless lives. I am doing them a _favor_, Harleen. Everyone should be grateful."

"It's Dr. Quinzel, and you sound like Victor Zsasz." She retorted dryly. Their second session and he was already forcing his beliefs on her.

"Harleen is such a pretty name, though!" The clown sighed, red smile turning down into a frown. A lock of green hair fell across his creased forehead. He looked like a young child. Admittedly, he was almost boyishly handsome, with a gleam of mischief in his eyes and a rogue look to him. However, his idea of mischief was burning buildings and killing people. Harleen shook her head.

"Why must you always argue with me?" She asked. "It's just a waste of time. Our session is almost over!"

He glanced at the clock. "No, it's not. We haven't been here long at all."

"My case in point. You're always trying to get in the last word."

A shrug of bony shoulders and no apology in his eyes, the Joker replied, "You're the one arguing with me, Doc. You're supposed to listen, aren't you?" His smile was smug. She fought the urge to curse him.

"Mr. Joker."

"Doc." He mocked.

"I want to make progress. We cannot do that if you refuse to cooperate."

The Joker gazed back at her with a peculiar expression on his face. He dropped the smile and continued to stare with his intense, bright eyes. It was unnerving, but Harleen met the challenge. She could not back down. He smirked again. "How about a deal? You cooperate, and _I'll_ cooperate." Harleen frowned.

"Go on," She sighed. Hopefully it wasn't too outrageous.

"You tell me something, and I'll tell you something_. Quid pro quo_. What do you think, Dr. Quinzel? Could you handle it? Or are you too scared?"

Oh, so he played dirty. It was to be expected, of course, but still, she had had quite a bit of wishful thinking with this particular patient. It was a dangerous game, no matter what, but he was upping the stakes. It was strictly prohibited to give information about yourself to any inmate. It was a precaution. There was no doubt, after his many escapes from Arkham, that the Joker could leave if he wanted and find her if she displeased or offended him in any way. Or if he thought it was funny. What to do, what to do.

As if on cue, the guards entered the room and started the process of unchaining the Joker. He still had that expression as he inspected her carefully. She could almost hear him.

_"Well, Doc, what's your answer? Hurry up!"_

Harleen did not stand up from her desk as they began pull him off the couch.

"I will consider your offer, Mr. Joker."

They hauled him out of the room, but she could imagine the satisfied grin he wore from her reply.

_"Good choice, good choice."_

The game was about to get a lot more complicated.


	6. Chapter 6

The Joker was wheeled out of his cell by the blonde guard from a few days ago in his session with Quinzel. He did not say anything to the inmate as he started to go through the process of securing him, but merely stayed silent. The Joker inspected him.

"What's your name?" He asked as he tilted his head to the side.

"I'm Hank." The guard replied, as he stopped in the hallway, and looked at the Joker. His eyes were a muddy brown. Then he continued to push his charge.

The Joker smelled an opportunity. This one was not as harsh or cruel as the others. He could use someone like that. Perhaps Hank could aid him in his conquests with the mysterious Harleen Quinzel. She had charmed many of the guards, but he had a feeling Hank was not one of the idiots like Todd, who slobbered over the young woman like a dog. Because that simply wouldn't do.

"Hmmm," The Joker said quietly. Then he grinned. "Where are we going?"

"The infirmary. You have needed a shot or something, I think."

xxx

Once they were inside of the infirmary, a few nurses left quickly, avoiding eye contact with the Joker. He chuckled darkly, sending another one out the door. He loved the effect he had on some people…

Hank strode towards a nurse with dark hair. "Apparently he needs something? Dr. Arkham told us to make sure he got whatever it was." He took a small sheet out of his pocket. "Here."

She read it over and nodded. "It'll be just a moment." She hurried away and spoke to someone else quietly, showing the sheet and leaving to get what she needed. The Joker looked around in boredom, sighing at the plain, white walls. Almost everything at the asylum was so… blank. It was supposed to be calming of course, but it was mostly aggravating. Its starkness was sharp and it begged to be bathed in hot coats of blood. He smiled at the thought.

His gaze shot towards the door as it swung open. A short blonde passed through the entrance, face buried in papers inside a file. He laughed loudly.

"Dr. Quinzel! Didn't know you were so eager to see me!" He called out and she turned, forehead furrowed in confusion. The crease between her eyebrows smoothed out and she smiled back, changing her path to make her way over to him.

She stopped in front of the bed he was strapped to. "Mr. Joker." Harleen replied, setting down her notes on the table beside him. She sat down gracefully, folding her small hands into her lap. "How are you, considering your circumstances?" Her smile was very pretty, crinkling the corners of her bright blue eyes, the Joker noticed. He had to make sure she smiled more.

"Much better, Doc." He said in approval. "And I'm about to get a shot." He sighed wearily.

She glanced at the nurse who was approaching with a syringe in hand. "Oh. Well, shots aren't that bad, Mr. Joker."

His eyes widened. "Are you kidding me? Those things fucking hurt!"

"Language." The doctor chided in her soft voice. "And I'm sure you've been through much worse."

"That's true." The Joker admitted. "But that's necessary. This isn't."

The nurse stopped in front of him. She looked slightly intimidated. "I gotta give the patient his shot." She told Harleen. "So I'll need you to step to the side for a moment."

"Of course, I'm sorry." She replied, and got up before the Joker interjected loudly.

"Hey!" He said irritably. "Don't talk to my doctor that way! Can't she give me the shot?"

The nurse looked at Harleen, who shrugged apologetically. "Is that alright with you, Dr. Quinzel? I'm sure you know how to."

"I do." She turned to the man in the bed. "You really want me to, Mr. Joker?"

He nodded, jerking his head up and down. "The only woman who's allowed to give me my shot is you, Harleen." He responded with a wink and a charming smile. She shook her head at him and pursed her lips. "Oh yeah, 'Dr. Quinzel', I know, I know, don't remind me."

"Much better, Mr. Joker." She mocked and took the syringe from the nurse. She got closer to the Joker, and he caught a heavy whiff of her scent. She smelled flowery, like lavender. It was odd, not what he was expecting,, but pleasant. And it wasn't overpowering. Harleen leaned over his arm, rolling the sleeve up to reveal a lean but toned bicep. He watched with satisfaction as she blushed slightly, but she took a deep breath and held the syringe over his skin. A bit of her golden hair traced his arm. He glanced at the sharp pinprick of pain as she pressed the point in. He hissed.

"Damn, Doc. That stung." The Joker growled when she withdrew. Worry clouded her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Harleen apologized. "But it had to be done eventually."

He beamed. "Better the doc I know than the nurse I don't." He said cheerfully. She smiled and he inwardly applauded himself. "I'm sure Jerry only made me get the shot because he doesn't like me."

"No, Dr. Arkham doesn't dislike you." She reassured. "But you've given him quite a bit of trouble in the past."

The Joker didn't understand. It was as if the woman had no idea who she was talking to and dealing with. Every session she had had with him, she acted like he was just a harmless, misguided eccentric. Unless she had been living under a rock for the past ten years or so, there was no way she hadn't at least _heard_ of what her latest patient was capable of. She underestimated him and gave him the benefit of the doubt. He could definitely use that in his favor.

"I'm sure that's it." He finally replied with a sideways smile. "Thanks for giving me my shot, Dr. Quinzel." He winked once again.

Harleen turned to the nurse, who still looked a bit uneasy. "Is that all?"

"Yes. He can go now."

Hank appeared suddenly, already loosening the straps that bound the inmate and looking at Harleen. "Dr. Quinzel." He nodded at her.

She was about to respond when the Joker interrupted. "His name's Frank." He said, attempting to help her out.

"It's Hank, actually." The guard corrected.

"But I want to call you Frank, so I'm going to."

Harleen shook her head while grabbing her notes off the table. "It's no use, Hank." She told him. "He just won't listen and calls you whatever he wants to. Believe me, I tried." The two blondes shared a chuckle and the Joker stuck his tongue out childishly.

"See you around, Dr. Quinzel." Hank said.

"Bubye, Doc!" Her patient called and flashed a wide smirk. "Til our next session! Or whenever you decide to stop by…"

"Thank you, Hank. And goodbye, Mr. Joker. I better not hear about you running off and doing something you're not supposed to." She warned him with a gentle smile. Harleen turned and began walking away, putting one foot in front of the other with a purposeful stride. The Joker admired her toned calves as the clicking of her shoes faded away.

He shook his head and whistled lowly. "What a woman!"

**AN: Sorry, much shorter chapter. Just to keep you guys entertained(:**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Thanks for all the lovely reviews, favs, and alerts! Here's a longer chapter. Enjoy! :)**

"Hello, Mr. Joker!" Harleen greeted happily as he came in, flanked by Hank and Todd Baker. He was smiling grandly, eyebrows raised at her enthusiasm.

"Dr. Quinzel," He dipped his head in return. "What's got you so worked up today?"

She sat at the edge of her seat, hands pressed on the table. "I got Dr. Leland to take away the cameras for our sessions." The little blonde gazed at him. "Aren't you glad? Now we don't have to worry about anyone meddling with your treatment, so long as you work with me and start improving." She was genuinely happy. It was such a relief. The pressure of having her mentor and the head of the asylum was a lot to deal with, and finally that burden had been lifted. Perhaps the Joker would be more willing to cooperate now that he didn't have to put on a show.

"That's wonderful, Doc! Good job!" He praised, and she blushed slightly. "I bet it took a lot to convince them, huh?" The guards left and they were alone.

She sighed heavily. "You have no idea. I told them how having an audience would only make you act out and be overly theatrical." Harleen noticed his jaw move slightly and his smile turned into a frown.

"You think I'm being overly theatrical, hmm? Is that it? That I'm putting on a show, walking around like a peacock flashing his feathers, Harleen? Tell me." His tone was a bit lower and had a hint of warning in it. Something told her not to correct him on her name. His eyes brightened, daring her to speak. She kept quiet, if only to play it safe. "Tell me."

"No, I don't think so, Mr. Joker." Harleen replied, softly. "But I have to tell them what they want to hear."

He had been tensed slightly, but now he relaxed, into the soft cushioning of the pillows at his back. He smiled playfully. "Good answer, Doc." His voice was back to normal, had the charming note in it once again. "You should be able to speak your mind, though." Harleen glanced down at her small feet. She was wearing simple black flats today. She took a breath.

"I know, but I need to keep my job, don't I?"

The Joker's white forehead crinkled up as he furrowed his brow. "No. What a silly question, Harleen. A smart little lady like you could probably get another job doing whatever she wanted, right?"

She smiled, flattered by the compliment. "I appreciate it, Mr. Joker, but this is what I really want to do."

"Deal with crazy people every day, trying over and over again to cure them but failing? Isn't that the definition of insanity?" He joked, trying to get a rise out of her.

"Would you rather I not work here?" She asked teasingly. "You could always have a new doctor, of course."

He scoffed, shaking his head back and forth. "Oh, I'm not complaining, no way. Not every day you get a view like mine." The Joker winked and Harleen and she laughed. "But yeah, why do want a job like this? Ain't any fun! 'Do what you love, love what you do'." He quoted, sticking his prominent nose in the air. "That's my motto."

"That's a very good motto to live by, Mr. Joker." Harleen replied. "Which is why I'm here. There's something wonderful in knowing you're helping other people. I feel like this is my calling. Perhaps I can't get every one of my patients released, but maybe by being there for them, they can learn to love themselves a little more, or start to see a bit clearer. Does that make sense?" She asked, tilting her head to the side. "Some things are so hard to explain and put into words."

"Well, Doc, I help people too, as I told you in our last session. I set 'em free from their useless existences. And you know, with all the damage Bats and I have caused in Gotham, having our good little get-togethers, we're helping the economy. Think about all the construction jobs I've created!" He laughed boisterously. "You get me?"

"No, I don't." She answered dryly. "Of course, I expect your logic to be twisted, but still. And what about me? Are you going to free me from my existence someday?"

The Joker pouted at her, red bottom lip protruding and he gave her puppy dog eyes. "Aw, ye of little faith! I'm not going to kill you, Dr. Quinzel. You're too much fun for me to just get rid of."

"I'm just a toy now, huh?"

He looked her up and down and licked his lips. "Only if you want to be, Sweets." He said suggestively. "Maybe next session? Don't have too much time for that today."

Harleen's face flushed crimson. "Mr. Joker!" She snapped, glaring at him angrily. "That is completely inappropriate! Apologize _now_!"

His pale green eyes widened innocently. "Sorry, Doc, you know I didn't mean it. I jest, I jest. They don't call me Joker for nothing!"

Her eyes rolled and she looked away from him and back to her notes, which she had barely written on this session. She picked up a pen and scrawled in her neat, girlish handwriting.

_Patient thinks he can merely say his words were a joke and get away with it. Doesn't seem to have much respect for me and just fools around most of the time. He knows he can get away with things because a lot of the employees are scared of him. I'm not._

"I don't like the way you've been acting, Joker. It's rude and intolerable."

"Oooh, dropping the 'Mister'? Someone's made Mommy mad…"

"Stop it!" Harleen barked, leaping out of her chair and slamming a hand on the table. "I am serious, stop it right now!" He quieted, gazing at her with a hint of curiosity in his stare. "It's only been _three_ sessions and I'm already getting upset? That certainly says something for your behavior." She paused. "Maybe they were right…." She murmured to herself too softly for the Joker to hear. She cleared her throat and returned to her patient. "I am trying to work with you, goddammit, but you won't let me! Every time we talk, you're full of jokes and mock me, and I am done with it. Today nothing went according to plan. All we did was bicker back and forth about meaningless nonsense and you basically calling me insane!" She rubbed her forehead. He was listening still, but had an insolent smirk on his red lips. "Get that _smirk_ off your face."

He obliged and sighed. "Doc, I'm trying, I really am. You've seen what I've done, how hard it is for me to be good and listen to you." His voice was calm and made Harleen really want to believe him, but she couldn't. "I didn't mean to upset you, I was kidding. Some doctors said it's a coping mechanism."

"There you go again with the joking." She said wearily. "Why can't you be serious for once?"

He frowned. "Because I'd rather be laughing and having a good time. Why can't you be happy for once?"

She stared at him and felt a wave of sudden and heavy exhaustion. Her hand slipped under the desk and felt around until she found it. She pushed on the button, still with her gaze locked on his, and kept staring as the guards rushed in, searching wildly for the signs of a struggle. "Dr. Quinzel?" Baker asked, face screwing up in confusion. "What'd he do?" Harleen swallowed and closed her eyes.

"Nothing. I think our session is over."

xxx

Harleen stayed in her office, mechanically moving things around and going through her notes without even looking at them. She felt as if there were a dark raincloud hanging above her, and she looked up just to make sure. Nope, no raincloud. She wished Joan was there to offer a word of advice or comfort. Harleen had no more patients for the rest of the day, but she almost wanted to have a session to get her mind off of the Joker's antics today.

He had been disrespectful, as she had said numerous times, but no matter what she did, he wouldn't listen and didn't seem to care. He _enjoyed_ messing with her. Three sessions and he spoke to her like he had known her forever. It was disturbing and intimidating. She had even gone along with it, joining in the banter and fun.

However, the innuendos and crude remarks were completely out of line. She hated it when he started to make little jokes and though she liked it when he called her pretty and whatever else, talking about his doctor being his toy? Unacceptable.

"You have to get a grip, Harleen." She told herself. "You can't let him get to you. In such a short time? People will talk, say you're weak. You got to get it together!"

A knock sounded at the door and she glanced up. It cracked open and Joan Leland popped her head in. "Hey, Harley, mind if I come in? I just needed to drop off some medical info on one of your patients."

"No, of course not!" Harleen replied. "I'm glad to see you, in fact."

The older doctor entered the room completely, a sheet of paper in hand. "Oh?" She asked, eyebrow raised. "Why's that?"

"The Joker. He was so difficult today!" Harleen answered bitterly. "He was being very good in the beginning, but then he started with the jokes! He started acting out big-time."

Leland sat in the chair to the side of her desk, scooting forward a bit. "A guard told me that the clown had been misbehaving. I'm sorry." She said sympathetically. "He really is a tough case. No one would blame you if you stepped away from the case, for a little while. Take a break, relax some."

"No!" Harleen exclaimed, earning a worried look from Joan. "I mean, no." She went on in a quieter tone. "I can handle him, of course, I just have to get over his sense of humor and everything else. He's not like any other patient I've ever had. He acts so charming, right? But then you remember everything he' done, all the lives he's ended and ruined. That's what always fascinated me so much, going into psychology. _Why_ people do things, how they get to be… well, crazy. End up in here." She gestured around the room, indicating the entire asylum itself. "The Joker is so extreme, and it was tripping me up a bit. But I'm going to make sure I'm totally prepared. You know, I feel better now." She suddenly realized, gazing back at Leland and smiling. "I think talking to you really helped."

Joan laughed, got up and leaned over the desk, placing a hand on the young blonde's shoulder. "Even shrinks need some kind of therapy." She said, and turned to leave. "I wish you the best of luck, Harley, I really do. As always, tell me if you need anything! And hey, if you ever want to go out and get together outside of work, let me know. Girl talk."

"Thanks," Harleen smiled warmly. "I'll definitely keep that in mind. Are you leaving right now?"

Joan nodded. "Yeah. Got to get up early tomorrow."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "Nothing important."

Harleen got up, opened the small closet to her left, and grabbed her briefcase. "It okay if I walk with you?" She asked as she hurried to the door. "It's probably best to get some rest, right?"

"Of course you can walk with me. And yes, the hours here can be tiring sometimes."

"You got that right!" Harleen groaned and the two women laughed together. They set off down the hall after Quinzel locked her office door, speaking quietly as they left the building.

xxx

The Joker could hear two pairs of shoes click-clacking down the hallway. He crept silently to the glass wall of his cell, staring at the retreating backs of a tall, dark woman, and a short, curvaceous blonde. He chuckled to himself as he melted back into the shadows, flopping onto his cot. After the elevator doors slid shut, he began cackling loudly and without restraint.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: New chapter! Omg yay!**

Harleen received a note the next morning from Dr. Jeremiah Arkham. Its only words were ominous- _See me in my office immediately._

She took a deep breath. She had no idea what it was for, but it didn't sound like anything good. She started towards the hallway in which Arkham was located, and headed there with a firm promise to herself to not be intimidated by the director of the asylum. Once she arrived at the door, she steeled herself, attempting a smile, then knocked sharply.

"Come in." She obeyed, turning the knob and stepping into the office. It was much larger than she had expected, but since he ran the whole facility, she shouldn't have been surprised he had the most grand space in the entire building. "Ah, Dr. Harleen Quinzel," The blonde man behind a huge desk said in a monotonous voice. He peered at her over his glasses. "I've been expecting you." He pushed a stack of papers that had been in front of him to the side. "Do sit down." He indicated the seat with a hand.

Harleen cautiously made her way over to where Jeremiah was, tugging her skirt down slightly and taking a seat. She cleared her throat nervously. "Dr. Arkham-" She managed before he cut her off.

"You're not in trouble." He told her with a wry smile. "Don't be so frightened."

Had it been that obvious? He said it wasn't bad, so she should relax. Harleen smiled with slight relief and nodded. "Thank you, I'm sorry, nerves just get the best of me sometimes." He smiled in return.

"It happens to everyone. Myself included." Hm. Why did he seem so scary before? Arkham wasn't acting mean and was actually being quite kind.

"May I ask why I'm here then?" She queried, tipping her head to the side, puzzlement written on her face.

"Well," Jeremiah began, pushing some stray, pale blonde strands of hair away from his face. He had dark eyes, she noted. They were warm. "I actually wanted to congratulate you. Joan has spoken to me, and she says you've been doing very well with the Joker. When she was trying to convince us all to let you treat him, we were skeptical, but I can see now that she was right. It's only been a little over a week, but the guards have noticed his behavior is improving. The clown seems to like you!" He grinned at Harleen, who was in a state of shock but happiness.

She was thinking about how she'd definitely have to thank Joan later, because getting praise from the head of the asylum was probably not an everyday thing. She began to color slightly. It was so nice to have encouragement from them on her most difficult patient, especially when she was starting to lose faith. "Thank you so much, sir, really, I don't deserve that. I'm only trying to do my job." She sighed. "He's a handful, that's for sure. It's not the easiest case I've ever had, but I'm doing my best."

"And your best is very good." He stood up, and Harleen did as well.

"You scared me with the note!" Harleen chuckled slightly. "It sounded so… business-like. I thought I was going to get scolded for how I was filing my papers or something!"

Arkham laughed as well, apologizing. "I'm sorry, I just had Jill, my secretary, write it. I didn't tell her what I needed you for, so she probably assumed it was nothing good." He held out his hand. "Well, I'm sure you have lots of work to do, so I won't keep you a moment longer. Good work, Dr. Quinzel."

Harleen took his large hand and shook it firmly. She smiled again, a bright, joyful sparkle in her baby blues. "Once again, thank you, Dr. Arkham. You have no idea how much I appreciate this." She turned and left, still grinning ear to ear as she passed the front desk. There was another doctor there, a dark-haired woman, speaking to the receptionist. She glanced at Harleen, a small smirk dancing on the corner of her mouth. She spoke in a low tone to the woman and together shared a soft chuckle.

Harleen ignored them and continued to her office with her chin held high. Who cared if they were talking about her? She had just gotten complimented by the head honcho and what were they doing? Nothing useful, that was for sure.

She passed by a few guards, not noticing one break away from the group to join her side. In a few, long strides, he was right next to her, looking down at the smaller doctor.

"Hey, Dr. Quinzel, I needed to speak to you, only take a minute." Hank said, and she glanced up at him with curiosity, stopping in her tracks.

"Hm?"

"Uh, well, one of your patients wanted to say a little somethin' in apology."

She continued walking briskly. "Oh, Mr. Tetch? It's fine, he probably thinks every blonde is Alice." She said dismissively, waving a hand. Hank shook his head.

"No, it's not the Hatter." He leaned down, closer to her ear and spoke in a quieter tone. "The Joker was wondering if you could stop by his cell soon. He said it's important."

Harleen rolled her light blue eyes and sighed. "Well, Mr. Joker can wait to say his piece on Thursday. I really don't have time for his nonsense right now, Hank."

"He was very persistent. Told me you'd say something like that, and to convince you otherwise. I'm sorry, Dr. Quinzel, I just thought you ought to know." He turned to leave, an embarrassed look on his face, but Harleen stopped him.

"It's fine, Hank, thank you for letting me know. If I have a spare moment, I'll make sure I see to whatever it is he wants."

Hank brightened considerably and nodded. "Sounds good, Dr. Quinzel. I'll see you when you have that session later."

She smiled at him and waved as he went back down the hallway to the rest of the guards.

xxx

"You ain't like my other doctor." Waylon Jones grunted to Harleen as she sat in front of his cell, legs crossed. Jones, also known as the Killer Croc, was being contained in an extremely secure area, and was almost always chained with incredibly strong chains to ensure he did not break free and attack someone. There was always a few guards on hand, armed with heavy doses of tranquilizers. "I didn't like her."

Harleen looked up and frowned, pen hovering over yellow pad. "Why's that, Mr. Jones?"

He pointed with one large, clawlike finger towards her side. "She bought a crocodile purse and brought it to my sessions every time."

She breathed in sharply. She never could understand why some of these doctors were so cruel. "I'm sorry, Mr. Jones, that must have been very upsetting. Did she get fired?"

"Nope." Croc shook his giant head back and forth. His mouth curled into a vicious smile and he bared his teeth menacingly. "I chewed off her arm. That purse really did end up costing her." He laughed, and Harleen felt a slight chill run through her. She cleared her throat.

"I, um, hope I don't do anything to upset you then, Mr. Jones…"

"You can call me Waylon. You're a nice lady, I think." He noted, nodding. "You ain't like my other doctor."

Harleen smiled hesitantly. "I'm glad. Thank you, Waylon. You're not too bad yourself. I think we're off to a good start, don't you?"

"Yeah." She started to pick up her stuff, glancing to the guard nearby.

"It's about time, right?"

The burly man shrugged. "You got a few minutes left over, but it's fine."

She sighed heavily. "Yes, well, I have a quick matter to attend to." She turned to Killer Croc and gave a slight wave. "See you later, Waylon. Let me know if there's any issues with medication or how you're being treated."

"Bye, Ms. Quinzel." He answered in his low, deep voice. _Dr. Quinzel, not 'Ms.'_ She thought to herself, but decided to let it slide. End on a good note. Getting on Jones's bad side probably was a very poor decision.

And now she was faced with visiting a certain clown who was being especially difficult. Wonderful.

**AN: No Joker, I know *shields self from tomatoes being thrown* but c'mon, I have to pace myself! Sorry!**

**Let me know what you think, and please give me feedback on how to improve! Thank you(: I appreciate it lots.**

**I'll be back with our favorite clown soon!**


	9. Chapter 9

"Mr. Joker." Her voice sounded through the hallway as her heels clicked against the hard floor. The clown giggled to himself, a thrill of excitement coursing through his body. He swung his long legs off his cot and sat as he waited for his favorite doctor to approach.

"Harleen!" He crooned, purring her name like a cat. A second later, she appeared, eyebrow raised and lips pursed_. Such a serious woman sometimes_, he thought to himself sadly. That would have to change. "Such a pleasant surprise!"

She shook her head. "Not much of a surprise if you were expecting me."

"I wasn't sure if you'd actually come." He gasped and covered his mouth. "To my cell, I mean. Don't take it the wrong way, Doc!" Harleen sighed and he came forward and pressed his nose against the glass.

The Joker stared down at the small, pretty blonde. She quickly snapped her gaze up to his, and he grinned happily. She was just too adorable, with her short little self and baby face. "I wanted to talk to you, yanno. About the other day." She looked away for a moment and he saw her jaw tighten. "Still mad at little ole me?" He whined, huffing impatiently. "Don't be like that!"

"Mr. Joker, I have things to do, not all of us sit in a box trying to think up ways to manipulate people and plan on how to fight with a man who dresses up like a bat!" Harleen snapped, nostrils flaring. She was getting all pink in her anger. "Hurry up and say what you need to say!"

He held his white hands up and wore an alarmed expression. "Woah, easy there, Doc!" He cautioned. "Don't pop a blood vessel!" He saw her mood start to worsen and he hastily stopped. "I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry and that I was so very out of line the other day. I wouldn't want to be disrespectful, blah, blah, blah, and all that bullshit. Forgiven?" The Joker hopefully, tilting his head to the side.

The corner of Harleen's mouth twitched for a second, but she frowned. "Would it kill you to be genuine for once?"

The Joker shrugged. "I'm plenty genuine, Harleen. I don't lie to myself like everyone else does. Like _you_ do."

"Let's not argue about this again, please."

"Okay."

Silence fell over the pair. The Joker sighed as he continued speaking. "Okay, can we just forget about it? I don't like it when my doc's mad at me."

"Thank you, Mr. Joker. I appreciate you realizing that your actions were wrong."

He pursed his lips into a smooch. "Kiss and make up?" he shook his head. "No, never mind, remarks like that will get me in more trouble, hm?"

"That's right." Harleen affirmed.

"What took you so long, anyways?" He asked. "I figured you'd come running down here as soon as possible to see me."

She clucked at him impatiently. "I was having a session with another patient."

"Seeing other patients?" The Joker said with mock horror. "I feel so used!" He glanced at the ground. "Oh, Doc, I thought I was special." She laughed, much to his surprise and pleasure. Her laugh was high and sounded like little, tiny bells. He grinned. "I know I'm your favorite though, right?" She merely looked at him with an amused smile. "_Right?_" He pressed.

"We've had, how many sessions so far?" Harleen replied, musing aloud. "Two, three? And yet you think you're already my favorite. And besides," She said, attempting to adopt a more serious look and tone. "I'm not supposed to have favorites. That's bad." She waggled a finger at him. "We can't have that happening, Mister."

He sighed longingly. "Oh, Doc, you're amazing. And you just can't stay mad at me, huh? You come down here all angry and ready to bust my balls, and now you're making jokes. Such a tease." He winked. He did that a lot with her. "Keep it up, Harleen."

"How many time must I say-"

"Dr. Quinzel, not Harleen. I know. It's almost funny that you think I'll actually listen."

She turned away, another smile creeping onto her face as she arranged her notes. He didn't miss it though. The Joker just laughed again. "Gotta go, Doc? I wish you would stay. The company down here is dreadful, really. Just a bunch of buffoons yelling about nothing. And I ain't talking about the inmates!" Harleen clapped a hand over her mouth to smother the giggle. "I'll be waiting for Thursday. "

"I will, too, Mr. Joker. If you think this is boring, try doing paperwork all the time." Harleen rolled her bright blue eyes. "Well, like you said, I have to go. Meeting to attend."

The clown's sharp emerald gaze widened, as did his smile. He raised his pale hand and waggled his long fingers as he slid back into the darkness. "Don't forget to laugh, darling." He teased, disappearing from her sight.

"Thanks, Mr. Joker, I'll try." She promised, and a second later, she left.

xxx

Once again, Harleen found herself in Joan Leland's office. "I think the interview with Mr. Waylon went well. He says he likes me, especially because his last doctor had been bringing a crocodile skin purse to every session." Harleen's gaze seemed to darken slightly as Joan raised an eyebrow. "Joan, I just don't get it sometimes!" She finally burst out, waving her hands around. "Some doctors here hate working with these patients, and treat them horribly! Why work someplace if you're just going to try and make everyone as miserable as yourself?"

Joan sighed, coming around the desk to sit on the chair beside her young co-worker. "Harley, I understand what you're saying, and it upsets me, too. But that's how it is in real life. We just have to learn to deal with it and to make sure we don't act like they do."

"But it's like a person who hates kids becoming a teacher!"

Leland shook her head. "Seriously, Harley, you'll just have to deal with it. We can't fire everyone who gets sick of this job. We're in a rough place, especially in our line of work. Some inmates don't want to be cured." _Like the Joker,_ Harleen thought to herself sadly. "But we still try, right?"

"Yes." Harleen mumbled. _It's just not fair!_ She screamed internally. "And the guards, too. They hate every single patient and knock them around." She was surprised when she felt tears rising to her eyes. She pushed them away angrily, so Joan wouldn't notice. "I talked to some of them though, and I think they'll learn to be nicer. This isn't a prison after all."

Joan nodded. "That's exactly what you should have done. They'll learn to respect you as well." She gave Harleen a gentle smile. "Harley, you are doing wonderfully. It's nice to have someone who cares about their patients like I do."

Harleen mustered up a smile to return to her mentor. "Thank you. I feel like I'm always running over here for advice or to complain."

"I'm your mentor!" The older doctor exclaimed. "That's what I'm here for! I'm actually thrilled you're not just a whiny girl moaning about how she hates her job and wants to leave all the time." She leaned forward. "Harley, you are exactly what this place needs right now."

"I try my best!" Harleen joked, and laughed. Instantly, her thought flew to the Joker. _Don't forget to laugh, darling!_

She pressed a hand to her mouth to smother the giggles.

xxx

An hour, Harleen was back in her office, sorting through a box of files. It was one of the most boring things in her job.

Eventually, she finished, and she retreated to behind her desk, sinking into the chair wearily, then spun around in it, staring at her feet. It made her dizzy. She stopped abruptly, then sent a sideways glance to her small, grey filing cabinet. _Should I?_ she asked herself, biting her lip as she mulled it over. Finally, after five minutes of staring at the metal box, she got up and walked over to it.

Harleen pulled open the drawer, and began rifling through its contents. Soon, she found herself at the U's. A few files back, and there it was. Gingerly, she plucked it out and held it.

_Unknown Name, Patient 4479, Alias: The Joker._

She tucked it into her briefcase, then left.

**AN: Jesus, Harley! Obsessive, much? Hoped everyone liked this chapter well enough, I tried, I really did(: I wanted to get a new one up, since I haven't updated in a while.**

**As always, thanks for reading, review maybe? I very much appreciate the feedback I'm getting! Check out my profile for more JokerXHarley stories/one-shots.**


	10. Chapter 10

After lunch in the cafeteria, the Joker found himself being dragged towards the door where everyone else was going through. Puzzled, he looked at the dark orderly to his left. "Why ain't we going back to my cell?" No answer. "Am I getting another fucking shot?" He groaned.

"No. Shut up." The Joker stuck out his tongue but went through the door without saying anything else. A minute later, he realized where they were headed.

"The Rec Room!" He exclaimed gleefully, a smile stretching across his face. "How'd I even get permission?" Somehow, he knew the answer before the guard said anything.

"Your shrink spoke to Dr. Arkham 'bout it. Crazy, if you ask me. But we gotta do what she says and watch you."

The guard to his right had dark hair and a thick beard. His name was Timmy. "Damn, she is one fine piece of ass. Any man who ain't a fag would agree. You a fag, clown?"

The Joker's jaw tightened but he kept on smiling. "I like women, sorry, Timmy. I know how hard it is for you not to rape me in the showers. What can I say? I can't help being this attractive."

"Shut the fuck up!" The other orderly said. "I told you once, I ain't telling you again!"

"Whatever." The Joker growled.

xxx

There were seven or eight inmates in the Rec Room when the Joker arrived, depending on how many people Two-Face counted as. Everyone was sitting alone, except for Jervis Tetch and Jonathan Crane, who were playing chess. Killer Croc sat with his back against a wall, and appeared to be asleep, and there was a woman with greyish hair on the couch, watching a show on TV about cooking. There were a few others the Joker didn't really recognize, since they were nobodies, not worth his time.

"Harv!" He called across the room, and a man with half a face turned to look at him. The former District Attorney of Gotham slowly made his way over to his fellow Rogue.

"J." Harvey greeted in a flat tone. "Long time, no see. Well, I see you in the cafeteria, but we never get to talk. When's the last time you been in the Rec Room?"

The Joker stepped forward and stretched out his hand, which Two-Face took and shook. "It's been about half a year, I guess." He shrugged.

"How'd you get in anyways?"

A wry smile crept onto the man's pale face. "Heard about the new doctor?" Harvey nodded. "Quinzel. She's my shrink, and she thought this would be good for me. Hilarious, huh?" He started laughing uncontrollably. "I mean, last time I was here, I _killed_ two guys!"

Harvey smirked, then waved a hand. "C'mon over here, J. We got some catching up to do." The pair retreated to the couch, after the Joker merely looked pointedly at the woman sitting there, eyebrow raised. She immediately left. "So, your doctor." Harvey prompted. "Tell me how she's been. Got time on the couch yet?" He winked.

His friend sighed dramatically. "No, she's too goody-goody for that. Would rather break an arm than a rule. But don't worry, we're working on that." He giggled. "She's a sweet kid. Young, pretty, smart. Naïve, too." He added. "She's already getting worn out by me."

"I wish I got a new shrink." Two-Face sulked. "Mine's a bitch."

"Sorry, Harv," The Joker laughed. "So what's been going on with the other freaks?"

"Nothing really. Got a coupla new ones, but they're just some small-timers. Eddie's been his annoying self, Croc's still not too sociable, Jervis and Jonathan been playing chess all the time. Pammie's still out, laying low I guess. I wish the Bat would drag her in so I could give her a piece of my mind."

"Mind_s_." The Joker corrected. "Sounds like I haven't been missing much. That's a relief. Wouldn't want anything fun to happen while I was gone." He said. "And everybody knows I'm the life of the party anyways. Right, Johnny?" He called across the room to the thinner, dark-haired man. Jonathan Crane glanced up, annoyance flashing in his bright blue eyes.

"Sure, Joker." The Scarecrow replied, shaking his head and focusing back on the chess board. "Whatever you say."

"Exactly!" The Joker crowed. "So, I gotta go soon, I think. My session is coming up in about an hour. Little Harleen's probably pining for me right about now. You know how the ladies just fall to my feet. Right, Johnny?" He shouted again.

Crane merely yelled back. "Shut up!"

"Jeez. Touchy, that one." He commented to Harvey. "That's what happens when you don't get laid."

"I'm sure you've gotten laid quite recently, J, especially being locked up in this hellhole." Two-Face responded with dry humor.

He wagged his finger at the former DA. "I don't kiss and tell, Harv."

"Thank God." He muttered. "I would hate to hear about all of your many conquests with the superbly attractive women in the Asylum."

"Hey, you gotta admit, my doc is a pretty cute gal. And I'm sure she's falling head over heels in love with _moi._" The Joker started to get up, clapping Harvey on the back. "Ah, it's been good, Harv, but I must skedaddle. I'm sure I'll see you again. I'm going to behave this time."

Harvey snorted. "Whatever, J. Have fun in therapy. Who knows, maybe you'll be joining us in Group sometime soon." He joked, before the orderlies entered and restrained the Joker.

"Bubye!" The clown giggled.

xxx

"So where is he right now?" Harleen asked, puzzled. There she was, standing in the doorway of her office, with Todd Baker in front of her, and no Joker in sight. She crossed her arms. "Has he been bad again?"

"Uh, no, Ms. Quinzel. I just wanted to talk to ya. Yanno, get to know ya better. We gonna be workin' together for a while, huh?" He laughed uncomfortably, and Harleen stared at him.

"Oh, well, that's nice." She said finally. "But I'm sorry to be rude, but it's _Dr. _Quinzel, not _Ms._ Quinzel. I worked hard to get that degree." She joked, but her heart wasn't in it.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Todd laughed again, but this time there was a hint of a sneer in his tone. Harleen felt a sharp pain in her chest. _Bastard_, she thought to herself.

So she stood there, feeling upset and impatient. "Is he going to be here soon?" She didn't have the time or energy for this.

"Sure. He did okay in the Rec Room, Timmy said." He paused and an awkward silence settled. "You gotta crush on him or somethin'?" He teased. "You care more 'bout him than me!"

"He _is_ my patient, Mr. Baker." Harleen replied, giving a tight smile. "You're a guard."

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You don't have to act like you're better than me."

"I'm actually going to go into my office now. So let me know when the Joker actually gets here, not ten minutes ahead of time." She nodded to him curtly, then returned to her office, closing the door with more force than necessary.

She sighed to herself sadly. She would rather talk to a psychopath than that pathetic excuse for a man. Anxiously, she glanced at the clock and waited for her patient to come.

**AN: Ouch, Harls! A bit harsh, huh? Well, Todd's being a little bitch, so I can't blame her :P**

**Next chapter they'll have their session, so yay! Can't believe I'm posting Chapter 10 now! This story is just so much fun for me to write.**

**And I don't know about anyone else, but I like the idea of the Joker and Two-Face being friends. And yes, I know he speaks differently to Harvey than Harley, mainly because he isn't trying to charm Harvey in the same way as young, uptightish Harleen.**

**Review, review, because it makes me warm and fuzzy inside. K, bye! :***


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Finally, another session! Jeez, the last official one was like… forever ago! So I hope the wait was worth it. Here's another boat of therapy with the ever-lovable Joker and Harleyyy! :)**

**So I'm literally writing a oneshot, and trying to get chapters up for two other fics besides this one. What. Like why did I decide that having three EXTENSIVE stories was a good idea? Insanity I tell you…**

**ALSO! One of those new fics is called 'Reverse Psychology', and it is about our two fav clowns- only their roles are reversed! Harley Quinn is a homicidal maniac who is quite the charmer when she meets Dr. Jack Napier, a well-meaning and demure young man(; I think you all would enjoy it!**

"He's here, _Dr._ Quinzel." Todd announced in a sour tone, opening the door of Harleen's office and allowing three guards with the Joker in tow to pass him. "Have fun." And then muttered under his breath, "Bitch."

The Joker's lip curled. "My doc deserves respect, Todd. So shut it!"

"Mr. Joker," Harleen began in a placating voice. "Please don't-"

"We're just going to leave." The tallest orderly told her, looking extremely uncomfortable. "We'll be back soon." The two others nodded and they all retreated, filing through the door silently, letting it shut behind them quietly.

Harleen inspected the Joker, who looked a bit put off by Baker's rudeness, but other than that, he seemed less tense and more relaxed. She decided that the trip to the Rec Room had probably went well, and that he enjoyed it. Still, she needed to ask. "How was the Rec Room?" Her question was innocent, but there was a hint of satisfaction in it, for she knew that giving him more privileges would lead to improved behavior, over time. She had heard some other doctors tittered about it earlier, but what did they know?

"It was fine." He answered vaguely.

"I'm told you got to spend some time with an old friend…"

He laughed and nodded. "Yeah. Me and Harv spoke a bit. He said he wished he had you as his shrink, too." He shrugged. "Can't say I blame the guy. Lots of folks here want my doctor." A shiver ran through Harleen at what seemed to be a double entendre. _Lots of folks here want my doctor._ She shook the thought off quickly, and refocused.

"You're too kind, Mr. Joker." She replied sweetly. "But we must continue with the session. Enough about me."

The Joker's intense green eyes flashed and he regarded her with a calculated expression. "Enough about you? Wasn't that the whole gist of the deal in the first place?"

Harleen swallowed. The deal. Of course. She had forgotten about it somehow, in the midst of everything else going on. Or else she just didn't want to think about it. She knew it was not something that was allowed, because with these inmates, you didn't just give them information about yourself or allow them to get into your head. Especially the Joker, who had earned a reputation of killing, maiming, or driving all of his doctors insane. Harleen had no intention of letting any of those things happen to her.

"Riiiight…" She spoke slowly, weighing her options in her head. Either turn back on the deal and likely upset him, or try to be honest and open with him and maybe gain his trust. "So what do you want to know?"

A hint of surprise lit the Joker's face, but was soon replaced by a more smug expression. "Good decision, Doc." He tilted his head to the side, letting a few curls fall across his pale face. "So. You're from Brooklyn, huh?"

"What?" Harleen asked, confusion evident from her cute, round face. "How did you- I mean, what are you talking about?"

Triumphant, the Joker stuck a finger in the air. "See! I was right! It's kind of obvious, if you really listen. The accent slips out when you get mad, or excited."

She flushed. "I've just tried to get rid of it, honestly." She glanced down at her small hands and fiddled with them nervously. "I mean, no one would take me seriously, if they knew, about, you know…"

"No, I don't, Harleen." He replied gently. She didn't correct him. "What do you mean?"

She threw her hands in the air and did anything but meet those burning emeralds. "I'm not like the rest of them! But if I'm not exactly the same as everyone else, then I'd be an outcast!"

"Oh, Harleen. Why would you _want_ to be like those fools? And what's wrong with being an outcast?" He raised an eyebrow expectantly as he waited for her answer. The young doctor was out of her element. He says one thing and she started getting emotional. And it wasn't even a big deal, the whole accent thing, but it escalated as she revealed how she wanted to be like the rest of her peers. Harleen told herself to get a grip. Immediately. This was her session, not his, and she ran it. She couldn't start crying to the Joker about her itty-bitty problems. What would he think? What did he already think?" She inhaled a deep breath.

"There's nothing wrong with being an outcast, Mr. Joker." She said in a calmer tone. "You seem happy enough. But for me, I can't be very different, because it would affect my life, whether it be in work, relationships, or whatever else. You understand?"

He merely sighed heavily, pursing his bright red lips together tightly. "Doc, I can see how hard you want to do well and everything. But this… This hiding who you are, pretending to be something you're not… It's crazy! That kinda thing drives people mad. And I feel for you, I really do, because it's killing you. Keep a bird locked up and one day it just falls over dead."

"You don't have feelings." Harleen tried to change the topic, as she looked away from him again. She couldn't bear to stare into the endless pools of green. She felt like she was drowning. So she attempted to divert their conversation towards the whole deal with him being unable to feel emotion.

He mocked a look of hurt. Exactly her point. "Hey, Doc, I got feelings!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! Just because I don't express every tiny emotion doesn't mean I don't have any! I just try to view life as a joke, and be happy. You should try it." He giggled in a high pitch.

Harleen groaned. "This is ridiculous. You're like a mix of a sociopath _and_ psychopath! I've never seen or heard anything like it."

He winked and grinned. "I'm one of a kind, Dr. Quinzel!"

"Well, that's for sure." She retorted. "But do you know how big of a headache I get trying to psychoanalyze you?"

"Then don't."

His reply stunned her and left her silent for a moment. "What do you mean?"

"They say I'm incurable." He began, looking into the distance. "I am a lost cause."

"Now that's not true-"

"Hey!" He scolded in his deeper voice, pouting at her. "Lemme finish." After she made no move to talk over him again, he started back up. "So I'm crazy, yeah? Out of my mind, _insane._ I kill people, all the time, for fun. I torture people when they look at me the wrong way. My henchmen? One of them pissed and forgot to flush so I shot him, right then and there. I live my life interlocked in a battle for this damn city, with another guy, who dresses as a bat and obviously has some homoerotic tendencies. So, I ask you, Dr. Harleen Quinzel, Dr. 'I-can-cure-anything', why would you even try?" A smirk lit his face, as Harleen simply stared at him. Finally, she spoke, shaking her head even though there was a smile creeping up on the corner of her mouth.

"You can't just give up on people like that."

The Joker nodded to himself. "There are people in this world, Doc, who are different. Special. I am one of those people. And sometimes I think that you are, too. It's up to people like me, and maybe like you, to keep the world on its toes. You get it?" He continued even before she had the chance to answer. "You wouldn't admit it, of course, but it's true. I'm going to show you, I swear, and you'll get it."

Harleen gave a slight smile to the Joker, as he rambled on. "You know, you're absolutely insane, but being the charmer you are, it's hard not to enjoy talking to you."

"Hmm, Doc, is that a compliment?" He chuckled quietly. "You're a funny gal, Dr. Quinzel. A sense of humor is always something I've appreciated."

"Well, being the Joker and all, I would expect it…" She rolled her large, blue eyes, feeling a light sensation in her chest. She was bewildered when she realized it was the feeling of being freer, being able to speak her mind to this lunatic, who had charmed her in only a few sessions. He was crazy, yes, but as she had learned over the years, at least some crazy people didn't try to hide behind a façade of something they were not. A dark rush of shame overcame her as she recognized the fact that she was hiding behind a façade as well, at times. He was right. But perhaps that could change.

He snorted. "I think sarcasm is your forte." Together, they shared a laugh, before the Joker flicked his sharp gaze up towards the clock. "Hm. Time flies when you're having fun, huh, Doc?" He winked again. He seemed to do that a lot more lately.

Dr. Quinzel stood up, and smoothed down her skirt, as she always did when it was time for a patient to leave.

"And Dr. Quinzel?" He asked, and she leaned forward slightly. "Just know I wouldn't have noticed you if you were just like everyone else."

A second later and the guards were inside of the room, working the chains and loosening the restraints. Harleen kept staring into the Joker's eyes, and he into hers, boring into her shallow soul. The corner of his red lips curled, then a large orderly stepped in front of her view.

Hours later, and she still couldn't get the sound of his voice, those words, out of her mind.

_Just know I wouldn't have noticed you if you were just like everyone else._

**AN: Whew! Just cranked out that chapter in one go! I feel so accomplished :P Lol, but seriously, I hope you enjoyed it. Most in depth session so far, so wait til you see what's in store! I'm praying you all like it. I took Luckster25's advice and made sure the therapy was longer, because honestly, the others were quite short.**

**Anyways, please review(: It brightens my day and reviews are what really encourage me and make me more excited about writing a story!**

**And check out 'Reverse Psychology'(;**


	12. Chapter 12

"And so I took a big pratfall and ripped the crotch right out of his trousers, and I was doubled over with laughter!" The Joker exclaimed, waving his hands around wildly, while Harleen erupted into gales of laughter. She let out a gust of air as she swept a finger underneath to wipe away the tears of mirth. A small trail of eye makeup followed. "My dad wasn't very amused though…" He trailed off sadly. "He broke my nose that day."

Instantly, Harleen ceased her giggles, her mouth pulling down at the corners and her eyes widening. "He broke your nose?"

He shrugged, but wouldn't meet her horrified stare. "Yeah. He'd done worse, of course, but this time I didn't expect it. I thought he'd laugh. But no, he just hit me. I was never the same after that."

Another tear leaked out of Harleen's bright blue eyes. But this time, it was not one shed in humor, but in remorse. A flood of emotions threatened to capsize her. Pity, anger, horror, protectiveness. She felt her heart clench for this poor man. She tried to imagine how it must have felt. To just be trying to make his father proud, make him laugh, and being punished for it. It was so cruel. A realization donned on her, and she let her mouth fall into a perfect 'O' shape. She noticed the Joker's gaze flicker to her lips, and a blush began to bloom on her round cheeks, but she hurried to speak before it became more awkard.

"I think I understand, Mr. Joker." Harleen announced, and he looked back to her eyes. "Why you do what you do."

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you now? Then by all means, Doc, elaborate."

"You just want to make the world laugh, just like you did with your dad. You want everyone to get the joke. How ironic _life_ is, you know? Everyone's in this mad rush to do all the things that don't matter. Everyone cares about such stupid, trivial things, and is caught up in what people think of them, how they look, and whatever else. But in the grand scheme of things, what difference does it make? If you believe in God, he's not going to care about those meaningless things, or whatever you do care about… Well, I don't know. But what I'm trying to say is… It's pointless, for the most part, isn't it? Life. And you get it, and realize how funny it is. So your purpose is to get everyone to think that way." She took a deep breath at the end of her speech, looking at the Joker like a little puppy that had just done a new trick and was waiting for a reward, a treat, maybe a word of praise.

The Joker just sneered. "You're close, Harleen. But you know what you're not getting? You're all talk, aren't you? You give me this whole big talk about how you _understand_ me, and the way you say it! One word for you- Hypocrite! 'Oh, everyone else is caught up doing these meaningless things!' and guess what, sweetheart? You're doing exactly the same thing. All I ever tell you is to let go, and stop pretending. But no, you keep up with this façade, and I'm getting tired of it. You know you're different, but you won't accept it." He shook his head, irritation clearly written on his long, pale face.

"I'm sorry, okay!" Dr. Quinzel snapped in reply, mood shifting quickly. "I'm sorry I'm not crazy, and that I'm sane, which obviously upsets you. Jesus."

"Oh no, another fight!" The Joker sighed sarcastically. "Stop acting like you're my mother! It makes me want to puke. You're always hovering and pretending to be all nurturing and whatever, and it's fucking annoying! _You're_ annoying!"

"I'm annoying?!" Harleen shrieked, and her accent began to slip again. "Lemme tell _you_ who's annoying, Mister! All you do is whine and complain and make jokes! Yep, I'm bound to keep my patience when I'm dealing with you all the time."

He threw up his hands and snarled. "I tell you a story from my childhood. For Christsakes, shouldn't you be happy with me?" He started to get up off the couch, ankles still chained to the floor, and Harleen got up and started trying to back away. His glare was furious.

Whoever had restrained him had not realized how tall the Joker was and how long his arms were. With a growl, he leapt towards the small psychiatrist and grabbed her shirt, dragging her closer. Her breathing quickened and he pulled her across the desk, knocking over several items as he did so. In the back of his mind, the Joker mused over how she didn't seem to weigh very much. A second later, and she was pressed against him as she stared up with a terrified look in her huge eyes, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Her glasses had fallen off somewhere between him grabbing her and ending up against his chest. He huffed angrily and leaned down so he was closer to her face. He blinked as her scent entered his nostrils. Today she smelled like vanilla, warm and soft. The Joker pulled away. "You smell different." He stated calmly.

Harleen looked surprised, but relaxed slightly and shrugged. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He paused. "Why aren't you screaming for the guards?"

"I was kinda asking myself the same thing, honestly." She admitted, laughing softly. "I figured, what's the point? If you wanted to kill me, the guards couldn't stop you anyways."

He mulled over it, nodding. "That's true." He grinned, flashing a bright smile in her direction. "I think I'll let you live today, Doc."

She smiled back, and once again he felt smug for causing his shrink to show off her pearly whites. "Well, thanks, I guess." She exhaled, and her breath was shaky. "Let go of me?"

"I rather like you right here." The Joker purred. But he let go, albeit reluctantly. Harleen shifted uncomfortably, without moving away at all. She stared at the ground. He placed a finger under her chin and titled it back up. "Hey." He said softly. "Sorry for scaring you."

"I trust this stays between us?" She asked him, searching the deep emeralds for an answer.

"Of course."

xxx

Joan Leland looked at her with concern. "Are you sure everything went alright in there? You seem…different. Shaken up, almost."

Harleen's forehead wrinkled up in confusion. "No, I'm sure I'm alright. We made enormous progress today, Joan." She lowered her voice. "He actually told me a story from his childhood."

The older doctor looked surprised. "Really? That's fantastic, Harley! I can't believe it! What'd he say?"

"Um, well, I'm not sure I should say anything. He made me promise not to mention it to anyone." She said lamely, attempting to find an excuse. "I wouldn't want to betray his trust."

Her mentor sighed. "Well, okay then, but still, congratulations! I wasn't sure he would talk to you at all, much less share this much information with you." Harleen felt a bit stung by the backhanded comment, but shook it off. Joan was right. No one had ever gotten much of anything from the infamous villain, and now that she had… That obviously said something for her skills as a psychiatrist. But she didn't want to share everything that went on in her office. It felt wrong. There he was, opening up his heart to her, and just so she could go blab to everyone else about it? She just couldn't do it.

Of course, the incident today had been a bit frightening, but no harm was done, so she didn't say anything. If Harleen did, Joan and Dr. Arkham might think she needed to be taken off the case. And anyways, the Joker had said sorry, his temper had just gotten the best of him. As a mentally ill man, it probably wasn't always so easy for him to control his intense emotions.

"Yes, well, he did, and we're on the road to recovery." She replied curtly.

xxx

"How'd it go?" Hank asked the Joker in his rumbling voice as he wheeled him away. "I thought I heard some yelling, but Dr. Quinzel seems like she can handle herself well enough without us guards barging in and messing the session up."

"Yes, thank you for not disturbing us, Frank." The Joker said. "I appreciate that. It's as if you're the only one with manners. But it went well. Me and my doc are so close, you know? She's such a sweet little lady, and pretty too, I'm sure you noticed?" He probed, seeing what the orderly would say. He was testing Hank, making sure he didn't have a thing for his shrink. He'd been trying to make sure everyone got the message that Dr. Harleen Quinzel was _his_, and that no one else should even _think_ of her.

Hank shrugged. "I 'spose she's pretty, but I wouldn't ever go for Dr. Quinzel. She's too smart for a guy like me, and she seems so…innocent. Like a little girl. You get what I'm sayin'?"

The Joker chuckled. "I do, Frank, I do. So small and fragile…"

Perhaps he deserved a bigger apology to his little psychiatrist. He knew he had frightened her today, but she did very well and didn't freak out and scream for the guards. He appreciated a rebellious streak in a woman. Not that he had thought about women like that in a while, but once Dr. Harleen Quinzel had come waltzing through Arkham in her high heels and with those glasses perched on her nose, he'd become a lot more interested.

"Well, see you later, Frankie!" He called after the orderly had deposited into his cell.

**AN: Tbh, that chapter was kinda weird. I think I started writing it while I was half asleep. Went from 0 to like 100 in intensity pretty quickly. I didn't mean for them to start fighting, seriously, it just…happened. I know you all are thinking that Harleen should be nicer and stop getting riled up so easily, but I don't know, whenever I write her, she gets irritated so quickly! I'm working on it, I swear.**

**But anyways, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter in spite of its OOCness. Thanks for reading, and as always, REVIEWS are greatly appreciated!(:**


	13. Chapter 13

The Joker grinned at the sound of heels tapping against the hard floor and the scent of flowers. He remained seated at his table as the noise and smell grew stronger.

"Doc!" He shouted loud enough to cause everyone else to look up as he turned to greet his psychiatrist. The small blonde ducked her head but waved nonchalantly at the notoriously violent criminal. The Joker scanned everyone else in the cafeteria as they glanced away from his intense stare. "So nice of you to join me!" He grinned, patting his hand on the seat beside him. Quickly, she made her way over, smiling at some of her other patients.

"I'll be seeing you soon, Mr. Waylon." She promised Killer Croc before she stopped right next to the Joker. "Good afternoon, Mr. Joker. I just needed to speak with Mr. Baker and some of the other guards about something, if you don't mind."

"If I don't mind?" He asked with an irritated expression. "If I don't mind you come over here to talk to these guys and not even spend a moment with little ole me? I thought we were making progress, Dr. Quinzel."

Harleen laughed, but covered her mouth. It didn't stop him from seeing the delightful joy in her eyes.

"She don't want to talk to you, retard." Todd Baker snapped from across the table, prompting a very ugly to appear on the Joker's face. How dare he speak-

"Actually, Mr. Baker, I do have a few things I need to discuss with Mr. Joker before we have our session tomorrow. Is that alright? It won't belong, of course." Pretty little Harleen widened those baby blues, and she instantly became the picture of innocence. Todd grumbled but said nothing else. She beamed as she slipped her legs in between the bench and the table. Immediately the Joker felt the warmth radiating from her body. She was so soft and warm. Like a baby. He giggled as he thought of it. Widdle baby Harleykins, chortling as she wiggled her teeny tiny toes. How _cute._

Harleen shifted in her spot. "Well these benches aren't too comfortable. And the food looks terrible." She nodded at the pile of muck in front of her patient. "I can see why you're complaining all the time."

The Joker threw back his head and laughed. "You're a riot, Doc, you really are." She shrugged and feigned modesty. "So what'd you want to talk about?" He asked in a lower voice.

"I don't know. I just figured we could…hang out? Ugh, I don't know. I'm not looking forward to talking with _them,_" She indicated the guards. "I like having an actual conversation with an intelligent person. Is that so bad?"

He shook his head. "Of course not. I know I'm good company. You and me? We're two intellectual beings with a thirst for interactions with anyone like us. So I don't mind you coming and 'hanging out' or whatever. You're my only friend, anyways." The Joker smiled charmingly, and a hint of a blush appeared on her round cheeks. "And I never got the chance to truly apologize for last week. I'm sorry for being such an asshole sometimes. I know you're trying your best." He said, and she chose to ignore the slightly patronizing tone he used.

"Let's just make sure not to repeat that little incident." She said carefully. He just nodded. He munched slowly on whatever it was they'd decided to serve the inmates today. Some brownish, soppy goo. meatloaf? No, it was impossible to screw it up _that_ bad, right? He scoffed. Well, the people in the cafeteria were not exactly gourmet chefs. He paused in his eating and laughed.

"I'm sorry, Doc, forgive me." Harleen looked puzzled. "I'm being rude! Here, want an apple?" He swiftly grabbed the fruit beside his bowl, a withered thing that looked days past its prime. It practically oozed. She wrinkled her button nose but accepted it without complaint. Hesitantly, she sank her teeth into it, wincing at the sweet bitterness she tasted. She chewed on the part she had bitten off, looking as though she was mulling something over. She tried to smile at the Joker, who was howling with laughter on the inside. Poor Harleen would do anything to please her patient.

He was surprised when she started to go in for another bite. He raised an eyebrow, and she shrugged. "It's not half so bad once you get used to it." She told him with a light grin. "And thank you, I appreciate it. All I've had today is coffee, and the stuff here is terrible!"

The Joker laughed. "The coffee's bad? Please. You doctors don't know anything about how bad the food and drinks are we're forced to choke it down every day!" He clutched at his throat theatrically. "Oh, what horrors the insane must endure!" A smug smile sidled up the corner of his mouth when his tiny doctor dissolved into giggles.

"You're awful!" She told him, mock-scoldingly. "You're such a bad influence, Mister Joker!"

"Wouldn't your father have a heart attack if he found out you were on a date with a bad boy like me?" He asked in a purr, sliding closer to Harleen. She squeaked slightly and turned away, but he didn't miss the light blush that came to her round cheeks.

She turned back and swatted his arm. "Mister Joker! This is not a _date._ This is a doctor speaking with her patient! Nothing more."

The Joker pouted, his red, full bottom lip jutting out childishly. "Oh, Doc, you're such a tease." He sighed sadly. "Though it was silly of me to think a pretty gal like you could even look twice at a guy like me."

"But you _like_ silly, don't you?" Harleen reminded him. "Don't put yourself down, Mister Joker. But that's just an unprofessional topic."

The whole time they had been conversing, they hadn't paid attention to anyone else in the cafeteria, until a loud snicker caught their attention. Harleen and the Joker glanced to a thin man sitting nearby, light brown hair and sharp green eyes. He sat silently, but wore a smirk as they looked at him.

The Joker sneered at the Riddler, who shrank back a bit at the clown. Harleen, however, frowned and got up.

"I guess I should be going." She muttered, and wouldn't meet his eyes. She walked over to Todd. "So, Mr. Baker, I needed to have a talk with you and the others."

Todd grinned wolfishly at her. The Joker felt distaste at the guard. He could almost see the drool dripping from the brute's mouth. "You can have a talk with me anytime, babe." He murmured to the doctor, who looked indignant.

"Mr. Baker-"

The Joker spoke with a warning tone, interrupting her. "Hey, Todd, don't talk to my doctor like that, 'kay? Got it?"

Baker rolled his eyes and looked at his with disdain. "Seriously? Are you joking? Oh wait, you're the Joker. You sick fuck, you have _no_ chance with Harleen. You like me better, sweetheart, I know you do." He grinned triumphantly at the Joker, puffing his chest out. Harleen looked angry for sure now, shaking her head and walking past the guard to leave.

The Joker's eyes snapped to Todd's hand, which had shot out to pinch Dr. Quinzel's ass. She immediately whirled around, eyes blazing and practically spitting as she whipped back a small hand and sending it flying against Baker's cheek. Todd's fists clenched, but before he could do anything, the Joker was across the table, long fingers curling around the orderly's thick neck and tackling him to the floor. A second later and Baker's head smashed into the ground, and he yelled loudly.

The furious inmate grabbed the hand he'd used to pinch Harleen and there was a sickening crack. The Joker punched Todd again and again, pummeling him with intense vigor. His nose broke and blood began gushing everywhere. "You don't get to speak to my doctor, you don't get to touch her-" Guards were rushing to where the two men were on the ground. He captured the ugly orderly's meaty head in his hands, then started pushing his thumbs into the sockets of his eyes. More red liquid spurted out, covering the Joker's uniform and bone white skin. "-and you don't get to _look_ at her!" He snarled, an animalistic look of rage on his face. He just felt intensely violent and the usual urge to kill rose up, but suddenly there were hands grabbing everywhere, prying his thumbs away from Todd's ruined eyes.

He just let loose a string of guttural growls and struggled wildly, thrashing his long limbs around. When he heard a soft voice calling his name, he stopped instantly, gaze flashing to the pretty face with the waves of gold framing it perfectly.

"Mister Joker!" Harleen, the damsel in distress, shouted, and it really brought a smile to his blood-spattered face.

"My harlequin." He crooned, and felt a stinging sensation in his bicep before the world got hazier and darkened, until his mind was filled with grey, cloudy thoughts.

**AN: Woah. Intenseness. I've had that scene in my mind ever since I read and watched 'Mad Love', as one of the in-between things and one big moment for them. Idk. I always get tickled when Joker fights for Harley's honor(:**

**I hope that you all enjoyed this, I think things are beginning to move along quicker now. But OF COURSE, REVIEWWWW!**

**Peace out.**


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